As I've mentioned, I have coffee every morning with a judge in hair curlers while our dogs romp.
The judge walked in and announced, "I saw So&So at the mall last night holding hands with a woman."
Funny, but So&So had the very same, very unique name as my husband.
"Huh?" I replied.
"I saw So&So at the mall last night holding hands with a woman." Pause. "Only when I got closer, I realized it wasn't So&So, but it was a guy who looked just like him." Oh good, breaking up my marriage wasn't on my ToDo List for today, and I just wouldn't have had time. If my husband is in love with anyone other than me and the entire Ravens football team (none of whom would pass in drag), I missed it. I guess he has a look-a-like out there with a girl friend.
"Anyway," the judge continued, "I realized I didn't know if you wanted me to tell you if I found out your husband was having an affair."
"He's not going to have an affair," I said. He told me years ago that he was going to get a nice car instead of having an affair, for his midlife crisis .
"It's always a surprise," she said. "You can put it on the blog." There are now several people in my life who tell me I Should Put It On The Blog.
"What's this got to do with psychiatry?" It is a psychiatry blog, afterall, though ClinkShrink would have you compare treating patients to dishing up Bic Macs. How does she see that many patients? And can it really be psychiatry? I think she must walk through the bunkers (or whatever they're called) shaking haldol sprinkles out on everyone.
"Sure, it's a psychologically loaded issue."
I didn't know, maybe ignorance is bliss. CoffeeFriend2 (and dog, Prize) walked in and she was clear, she wants to know if her husband is found cheating.
So&So came home from a long day at the office.
"Judge wants to know if you want her to tell you if she finds out I'm cheating on you," I said.
"Yes," he said.
Okay, everyone, no affairs, the spies are out there.