Tuesday, August 24, 2010

My Favorite Lawsuit

Clink note: There are certain cases that are just fun to read. This is one of them.

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JOGEZAI KAKAR KHAN, Plaintiff, v. WILLIAM SESSIONS, Defendant.

No. C93-04394 CW

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT FOR THE NORTHERN DISTRICT OF CALIFORNIA

1994 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 1385


February 7, 1994, Decided
February 8, 1994, Filed

CORE TERMS: forma pauperis, intelligence, prostitution, kidnapping, software

JUDGES: [*1] WILKEN

OPINION BY: CLAUDIA WILKEN

OPINION


ORDER DENYING PLAINTIFF'S APPLICATION FOR IN FORMA PAUPERIS AND DISMISSING COMPLAINT

BACKGROUND
Plaintiff's complaint alleges a vast conspiracy involving, among others, named Defendant William Sessions (former director of the FBI), former President George Bush, the Queen of England, the Consulate of France, French President Mitterand, the San Francisco Chronicle, several university professors, gangs in Hong Kong, the drug cartel, CIA agents, U.S. Army Intelligence agents, British government agents, former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, H. Ross Perot, Israeli corporate intelligence "consultants," Paul Newman, Kirk Douglas, Frank Sinatra, John Carradine, Dennis Hopper, Robert Mitchum, Orson Wells, Phil Donahue, the founders of Israel, the "Jewish Mafia" in Russia, U.S. Postal employees, a "humanoid alien extra-terrestrial leader speaking Greek," Oliver North, and several local people known and unknown to Plaintiff, including hypnotherapists who advertise in local papers.

Plaintiff brings the action for concealment, false information, fraud, threats to commit a violent act, racketeering and treason. Specifically, he alleges that the people [*2] named above acted separately and together to accomplish the following: false processing of computer chips, or software, containing dangerous elements to endanger the life of users; the shooting death of Pablo Escobar in Columbia; placement of a former political prisoner high up in the Pakistani government to conceal secret sales of computer software parts; the poisoning death of Plaintiff's father (whose death was attributed to heart attack), allegedly a witness to illicit shipments of oil and petroleum products; covert prostitution at local utility companies; the theft of Plaintiff's father's luggage in New York city in 1953; operation of various prostitution rings, and related blackmail, murder, kidnapping and torture of American and foreign women and girls, including forced transsexual operations; withholding of Plaintiff's letters to George Bush, and issuing false receipts for mail; trafficking in various drugs, human blood and body parts for witchcraft and human sacrifices; electronically bugging Plaintiff's residence; bribing university personnel; the sale of a major American airline to a British company; participation in a "Traitor Spartan Greek club co-opting Persian habits [*3] and Golds since 478 B.C."; planning and participation in the Polly Klaas kidnapping through using remote channellers in alleged kidnapper Davis's home; use of UFO-like aerial objects to wire remote-control or radio-in false signals to the human ear and brain using planted electronic devices; and entrapment and framing of California State Assemblymen and U.S. senators (for unspecified crimes).

Plaintiff seeks leave to proceed in forma pauperis.

DISCUSSION
Title 28 U.S.C. Section 1915(d) authorizes federal courts to dismiss a claim filed in forma pauperis prior to service "if the allegation is untrue, or if satisfied that the action is frivolous or malicious." Under this standard, a district court may review the complaint and dismiss sua sponte those claims premised on meritless legal theories or that clearly lack any factual basis. Denton v. Hernandez, 118 L. Ed. 2d 340, 112 S. Ct. 1728, 1733 (1992); Neitzke v. Williams, 490 U.S. 319, 324, 104 L. Ed. 2d 338, 109 S. Ct. 1827 (1989). A finding of factual frivolousness is appropriate when "the facts alleged are 'clearly baseless' . . . a category encompassing allegations that [*4] are 'fanciful,' 'fantastic,' and 'delusional,'" Denton, 112 S. Ct. at 1733 (citations omitted), or "rise to the level of the irrational or the wholly incredible. . ." Id.

Plaintiff's allegations clearly come within this doctrine.

CONCLUSION
Accordingly, Plaintiff's request to proceed in forma pauperis is DENIED and the complaint is hereby DISMISSED without prejudice.
The clerk shall close the file.
IT IS SO ORDERED.
Dated: February 7, 1994
CLAUDIA WILKEN
UNITED STATES DISTRICT JUDGE