Sunday, August 22, 2010
I Thought We Were Friends
Social networking adds a whole new dimension to human interactions. I used to ask people about their relationships during my initial psychiatric evaluations, and would include questions like "Are you close?" "When did you last talk?" I've had to change this...because now "talking" means oh, talking...in person, on the phone with a voice-to-voice conversation, via text message, a note on a Facebook page, an IM chat, an email message. They all count. We've become a weird world. And oh, yes, I've "spoken" to Roy and Clink this morning-- a couple of emails, so I'm not sure if they've "heard" yet. Clink wrote on my wall in the last day or two, I tagged her in a photo of an orange mushroom, and we've had numerous text messages (and Roy and I actually Spoke-on-the-Phone) yesterday....all inspired by the request of our publisher for a photo of us for the book. The big issues have been addressed: I got a unanimous vote for Curly-not-Straight, and Clink has refused to pose until she gets a haircut. Okay, I'm rambling off topic.
So people talk in therapy about their FB relationships. They get upset about things that are written on walls, they feel spied upon by family member friends, friends and enemies alike. (Oh, but the family would be torn apart if we unfriended each other!)....
So the other day, I realized I'd been unfriended. I used to get regular newsfeed tidbits from someone I work with. I realized they were no more, and I wondered about what was happening in his life. First off, let me say that they were a little unsettling at times anyway--- lots of "I don't like my job" groans, and his boss had said to me once, "I think he forgets who his friends are." Well I decided to check in on "George" and I searched him on my FB search bar. Ah, he only lets his friends see his info, it tells me. "But I am George's friend!" I shout. (-Not really, but it makes the plot more interesting). And then I realize that I was George's friend. Not anymore. I'm left to wonder why. Did I offend him? I thought he liked me. I like him. Did he decide he wants to rant in ways I shouldn't see....well that's okay. How do I now act with George in 'real life?' Do I ask about this? I won't: What could there possibly be to say other than to make George uncomfortable. Did he think I'd notice? Does he want me to ask?
Roy is groaning about now, he says I over-think these things.