So I'm sending you over to read a wonderful piece in the New York Times by Scott Stossel, 'Coming Out as Anxious."
The author wrote a book on anxiety and he discusses with his therapist whether it might be therapeutic to tell the world about his problems -- would it lessen his anxiety if he didn't have to spend so much energy pretending it wasn't there, making excuses, and covering for it? He tells a good story.
My psychotherapist, Dr. W., understood my concerns. But he suggested gently, on many occasions, that revealing my anxiety would perhaps dissipate the shame I associated with it. Doing so might prove therapeutic, even liberating. “You’ve been keeping your anxiety a secret for years, right?” he would ask. “How’s that working out for you?”
He had a point. I was still terribly anxious, and often unhappy.
But I would retort that at least I was gainfully employed and not a laughingstock or an object of unwanted pity. Concealing my anxiety was in some sense working for me.
Dr. W. would counter that by sharing what I had gone through, perhaps I could provide solace to some of the millions of other people who suffer from clinical anxiety. Perhaps I could even, as he put it, “write yourself to health.”
In the end, I decided, with considerable apprehension, to go ahead and reveal my own anxiety in the book. It’s now been a year since my book was published. Did “coming out” help?
The short answer is: a little bit, yes. The longer answer is … well, let me tell you a story.
Couch is a series about psychotherapy .