tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post252575573382656881..comments2024-03-18T03:28:36.581-04:00Comments on Shrink Rap: My Therapist is a CreepUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger30125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-91449129046001628772012-12-29T16:48:57.705-05:002012-12-29T16:48:57.705-05:00This blog is supposed to be for psychiatrists only...This blog is supposed to be for psychiatrists only, yes?<br /><br />I know there is a great need for consumers to have a better place to write about their experiences, but the intent of this blog is so clearly stated, and I would think that it would serve a good purpose sticking to that intention. Or, change the stated intention.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-21013930309314932162008-12-12T16:13:00.000-05:002008-12-12T16:13:00.000-05:00Therapy Patient said... "... my psychiatrist had m...Therapy Patient said... "... my psychiatrist had made up HIS mind that he wanted me OUT of the marriage."<BR/><BR/>HE wanted you out and you actually left??? Please clarify.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-61732354846948175822008-05-08T12:38:00.000-04:002008-05-08T12:38:00.000-04:00Creeps aren't always blatant in their creepiness, ...Creeps aren't always blatant in their creepiness, and sometimes it isn't clear in the beginning. My former psychiatrist turned out to be a real creep. He was also very charming and liked to pretend he was Dr. Cool. The staff liked him & patients liked him. <BR/><BR/>One time Cr. Cool encouraged me to go inpatient to get my medication regulated. I had insurance, but my family & myself would be eating 20% of the total cost of my hospitalization. My parents don't have loads of money, and I was working part time. While hospitalized I mentioned to him some of the silly activities they were having us do in group. I explained to him that due to my financial situation I could picture large amts of money going straight down the toilet & it bothered me because a large portion of that financial burden would fall on my parents. He kind of rolled his eyes & said, "I know. They have to have something to have you do to occupy your time. I understand how you feel, and I would feel the same way. They would have to drag me kicking and screaming to 'group.'" He said that he didn't care if I attended the groups or not he was most interested in getting my meds regulated & getting me home. He wrote an order that I didn't have to attend the groups. Okay, so what's the problem you ask?<BR/><BR/>He wrote in my medical records that I felt myself "too astute for group therapy." This, as you can imagine, made the staff particularly receptive to me after that. What the staff didn't know were the things Dr. Cool told me in private. I didn't know he had written this until after I was discharged. <BR/><BR/>I would much rather encounter someone like Dr. Cruella than a jerk like Dr. Cool. At least you know where you stand.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-77958611907287739022008-05-05T23:22:00.000-04:002008-05-05T23:22:00.000-04:00Good correction to my comment, right down the line...Good correction to my comment, right down the line. I want to clarify that I didn't intend to suggest that most therapy clients (I'm a long time one, too) are clueless. But we make ourselves so vulnerable in therapy that we are more open to being hurt or led. And then when you're already mired in your own mess, it's sometimes hard to tell when part of the problem actually belongs to the therapist! One thing I worry about in particular are the people who get burned and then don't come back, sometimes for years and some never at all, because of a bad therapist. and of course there are degrees of "badness" (rach is spot on saying nobody is immune to creepiness!); it's not always as blatant as Cruella is depicted here. <BR/><BR/>My hat is off to those who can sift through therapists deftly and discard the chaff. It's that way with any professional service I suppose, just not always so personal. It's also true that one can only have power over another if the power is given... <BR/><BR/>Glad the MD APA has a more useful code of ethics than the psychological APA. Maybe one of these days our organization will catch up.Mamabeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15318586703726237706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-51438529939090816502008-05-04T15:22:00.000-04:002008-05-04T15:22:00.000-04:00Further to Alison's point, we often go with what f...Further to Alison's point, we often go with what feels familiar and if you are used to being treated badly, then a mean shrink will often not get picked up as being not right by some people. People with very low self esteem are used to taking crap. Other people who will take it are people who need the shrink for their meds, people who are disenfrachised and who have no power.<BR/>People with choices who do recognize that someone is being mean as opposed to it being their fault for being "bad" will not tolerate a mean therapist. I would not say I had a mean therapist, but I had one on a power trip and it lasted years before I recognized it for what it was and got out. Now I have one who is well intentioned, not mean, not on a power trip, human, imperfect and also just weird enough that I do not feel crazy.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-83504079498517913332008-05-04T09:09:00.000-04:002008-05-04T09:09:00.000-04:00Actually, a lot of us can't tell a good one from a...Actually, a lot of us can't tell a good one from a bad one. If we felt as though we knew what was good for us, we wouldn't be seeking help in the first place. <BR/><BR/>For those who see clearly enough, hats off!Alison Cumminshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06370841996857073237noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-65869718291960940262008-05-04T05:37:00.000-04:002008-05-04T05:37:00.000-04:00To all those who have had suicidal ideation, somet...To all those who have had suicidal ideation, sometimes for months or years....<BR/><BR/>Wow. Just a few seconds of it scared the fertiliser out of me.<BR/><BR/>Please accept a hug. And my admiration too, for enduring and still staying functional at all. I don't know how you do it, and I think you deserve recognition for your achievement. Also, most importantly, some normal human sympathy. <BR/><BR/>Please keep on keeping on, and know that other people care about you.Zoe Brainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13712045376060102538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-4626026722455323652008-05-03T22:17:00.000-04:002008-05-03T22:17:00.000-04:00My first shrink was a creep... I think I lasted 4 ...My first shrink was a creep... I think I lasted 4 sessions with him before I cringed at the mere thought of having to take the elevator up to his office. <BR/><BR/>I agree with the sentiments expressed by most of the commentators - it's hard to be a full time creep, and a full time awesome therapist, although it's possible to be a momentary creep and still be a good therapist. <BR/>No one is immune to creepiness.Rachhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11897760883997811787noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-76538917570381608002008-05-03T20:46:00.000-04:002008-05-03T20:46:00.000-04:00Nice going, Dinah! You managed to get a picture o...<B>Nice going, Dinah!</B> You managed to get a picture of Glenn Close's Cruella DeVil on the <A HREF="http://blogs.wsj.com/health/2008/05/02/meanness-and-psychiatry-dont-mix/?mod=WSJBlog" REL="nofollow">Wall Street Journal's Health Blog</A>, with a healthy mention of our "lively" blog from writer Scott Hensley.<BR/><BR/>Thanks, Scott!Royhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08735111026336537653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-6356728354802241232008-05-03T20:08:00.000-04:002008-05-03T20:08:00.000-04:00Mamabeek said: "Therapists have immense power over...Mamabeek said: "<I>Therapists have immense power over their clients. We have more power to do harm to our clients/patients than nearly any other profession. Therefore, we must be held to a much higher standard than most professions.</I>"<BR/><BR/>I would insert "Therapists <I><B>can</B></I> have immense power". The potential is there, but, as many of you have pointed out, it is possible to tell the good from the bad and quit the bad, so that <I>power</I> is neither universal nor inevitable.<BR/><BR/>I will point out, however, that psychiatrists have chosen to add a clearer level of ethical standards to the AMA's ethical guidelines, referred to as the <I>Principles of Medical Ethics With Annotations Especially Applicable to Psychiatry</I>.<BR/><BR/>Psychiatrists who choose to be a member of the American Psychiatric Association agree to be held to these clearer ethical standards (which can be viewed <A HREF="http://www.psych.org/MainMenu/PsychiatricPractice/Ethics/ResourcesStandards.aspx" REL="nofollow">here</A>), and can be sanctioned for failing to maintain them. Anyone with a complaint about an APA member can file a complaint with the APA about him or her and it is taken quite seriously.Royhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08735111026336537653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-6943674778006989182008-05-03T13:02:00.000-04:002008-05-03T13:02:00.000-04:00I agree with your comments, Mommabeek, but many if...I agree with your comments, Mommabeek, but many if not most patients ARE able to tell a great therapist from a good one and a good one from an awful one so the ultimate vetting of the psych profession is done by the consumers. For the reasons you state, it is impossible for it to be any other way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-51109957018059803972008-05-03T03:01:00.000-04:002008-05-03T03:01:00.000-04:00I'm with Gerbil... there should be a screening pro...I'm with Gerbil... there should be a screening process to prevent the sorts of atrocities I'm reading in these responses. <BR/><BR/>I'm an MFT Intern and a Clinical Psychology student, thus hopefully will be among the ranks of psychologists in a couple of years. In my masters program many hours of personal therapy for students was included as part of the degree requirements. In some doctoral programs that is also the case. But even so, some amazingly screwed up people seem to get through to the end and are turned loose to do harm to their clients.<BR/><BR/>This brings up a good question... how can one ethically and effectively screen mental health professionals during the educational and training period? And how do we even define what it is that makes a person up to snuff for this sort of work?<BR/><BR/>I don't know what the requirements are for Psychiatrists in the area of self study, or how much therapy training they have (and I'd love to learn more about the differences/similarities in our professions!), but in psychology programs the main thing is to be aware of your shit. Everyone has baggage and everyone is a work in progress; that is the essence of being human. The concept of leaving your baggage at the door when you see clients is attractive, but probably not possible. Being aware of what issues you have; however, and knowing your limitations is another thing. It is critical to being a good therapist. Having a professional consult group, or at the least a set of people you can go to when you think you might not be seeing things clearly due to your own baggage, is essential. Practicing in a vacuum is just plain dangerous. We all have blind spots, and without someone to hold up a mirror for us, we run the risk of flattening the poor sods who happen to stand there.<BR/><BR/>Narcissists generally don't care to admit they HAVE problems and don't care to seek advice. Nor do they often refer, even if they can recognize when they're in over their heads or unable to manage their countertransference. Perish the thought that there might actually be those with antisocial or even psychopathic traits in the field, preying on their clientele! That's generally the low/no empathy grab bag. Then, I suppose, there are those who either see the world in such a distorted fashion they are responding to their own projected concoctions rather than the actual person sitting across from them, or they are so absorbed in their own problems they don't look up and use whatever empathy they might have.<BR/><BR/>So how do we measure some of these squishy sort of concepts that make a person qualified to do good work in this profession? It's a touchy subject, legally speaking. It's not as if we can give everyone a psych eval at the beginning and end of their education. Even if one could get past the politics of that, we administer the tests so often they aren't useful on us. What litmus could we use that would be objective enough to be fair and defensible enough to stand up to the legal challenges that would be sure to follow? Besides, who is to say that a person with a mental disorder can't be a perfectly good therapist, if s/he is managing the disorder effectively? It could be argued that this would make a person even MORE empathetic and able to work with some populations. So that distills the problem down to defining, in some testable, screenable way, how well a person can manage his or her shit and whether s/he will ask for help when it's appropriate. <BR/><BR/>Therapists have immense power over their clients. We have more power to do harm to our clients/patients than nearly any other profession. Therefore, we must be held to a much higher standard than most professions.Mamabeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15318586703726237706noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-11389985271519348182008-05-03T00:46:00.000-04:002008-05-03T00:46:00.000-04:00"He knew all the right emotional buttons to press,..."He knew all the right emotional buttons to press, and after 30 minutes of being harangued, I was an emotional, whimpering mess."<BR/><BR/>Wow, that's so intense and freaky. I am a person who can easily have her buttons pushed by people and I am so blessed to have had good therapists. <BR/><BR/>When I original saw my pastor/boss for counseling (horrible idea in the first place) she knew all the buttons to push. It turned into what I have now come to accept as an abusive relationship with tons of boundary issues and co-dependency issues etc... I was suicidal, self injurious and a whole host of other things. I feel the relationship and the "therapy" far worsened my BPD traits and the more the relationship lasted the worse I got. <BR/><BR/>Ironically though, this person is the one who pushed me to enter social work and pushed me to see a therapist both things which turned out to be pretty much the best things ever. Maybe she knew she was in over her head but didn't know how to get out. She'd started something, opened a whole can of worms, triggered herself in the process, aggravated her BPD traits and the whole things just spiraled out of control. <BR/><BR/>So I wonder, do those mean therapists start out that way? Or do they develop that way. Was the person who was head of the association and the screamed at a client always like that? Or did she enter the profession and have many good years of practice. Supervisors can't catch everything and people grow and change over time. I often wonder what I'll be like in 25 years and whether I'll still have the heart for, and energy for, the people I work with now.Awake and Dreaminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13257495492315814077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-89309271575500004642008-05-03T00:12:00.000-04:002008-05-03T00:12:00.000-04:00Kindy wrote:I had a psychologist that told me I ma...Kindy wrote:<BR/><I>I had a psychologist that told me I made her have sadistic thoughts that made her want to slap me, accused me of emotionally blackmailing her and use profanity while screaming at me.</I><BR/><BR/>The guy who I saw first? He didn't slap me, but I got the rest.<BR/><BR/>My body was changing shape, due to some hormonal weirdness. He thought I was "attention seeking", taking black market hormones. A reasonable assumption, except it had been contradicted by the endocrinologists report that he hadn't read carefully enough.<BR/><BR/>He pointed out the extreme negative consequences to my son of my actions, in an attempt to stop me from continuing the change. The trouble was, that I wasn't doing anything. I couldn't argue about the negative consequences to my child, and I couldn't stop the change from happening. I was between a rock and a hard place.<BR/><BR/>He knew all the right emotional buttons to press, and after 30 minutes of being harangued, I was an emotional, whimpering mess. <BR/><BR/>Hence the suicidal ideation. It took me a while to figure out (as I wasn't thinking straight) that killing myself would be even worse for my child than me living.<BR/><BR/>Most of that time was trying to figure out how not to hurt anyone else in the process. Jumping in front of a bus would be too unfair on the driver. And what about the people who found the body? And that in turn led to me thinking about the effect on my son, and that exploded the whole solution.<BR/><BR/>It was a very long 15 seconds, and at a time when I was <I>in extremis</I> emotionally.<BR/><BR/>And this was the day after I went fulltime with a female social appearance, and two days after I'd been threatened with rape by a bunch of drunken homophobes who objected to such an obvious "butch dyke" (their words) walking down the street.<BR/><BR/>Maybe I'm being grossly egotistical, but I really think that many would have obeyed the strong impulse I had to just walk out of the office and under a bus.<BR/><BR/>I'm no shrink, and maybe his therapy would have been appropriate for his diagnosis of narcissitic personality disorder, but it was only the fourth session I'd had with him. In my uneducated and ignorant opinion, what he did was extremely dangerous, and showed poor professional judgement.<BR/><BR/>Or maybe he was just being human. Shrinks are. Not Gods, not Infallible, just doing the best they can. It was late on a Friday, long after dark, and maybe he'd had a bad day after a hard week. It happens.<BR/><BR/>And it all turned out well in the end. There's an element of "what does not kill us makes us stronger" too. It still seems like juggling with nitro-glycerine though.Zoe Brainhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13712045376060102538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-62742591221825484962008-05-02T22:38:00.000-04:002008-05-02T22:38:00.000-04:00p.s. tag. Y'all are it. (if you don't want to do...p.s. tag. Y'all are it. (if you don't want to do the meme, that's fine too).Midwife with a Knifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04309579302399381913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-31074388752135145662008-05-02T22:12:00.000-04:002008-05-02T22:12:00.000-04:00I had a psychologist that told me I made her have ...I had a psychologist that told me I made her have sadistic thoughts that made her want to slap me, accused me of emotionally blackmailing her and use profanity while screaming at me. <BR/><BR/>Issues? Perhaps a Borderline.<BR/><BR/>I saw her for 8 months and ended up hospitalized 6 times and overdosing twice. She was a real gem.<BR/><BR/>I've been with a new therapist for 8 months again and have not had one hospitalization of self injurous behavior. <BR/><BR/>So...hit or miss? Putting it mildly. I'd have sued her or at least made a complaint but I didn't figure anyone would be a chick from a psych ward with DID over a 30 year psychologist that has been former chair of the association.<BR/><BR/>Oh well. At least I'm alive, right? Even though I twitch a little....well, not really.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-25428832226810585312008-05-02T21:56:00.000-04:002008-05-02T21:56:00.000-04:00I guess I'll put on my patient hat for this one to...I guess I'll put on my patient hat for this one too....<BR/><BR/>Both my psychiatrist and the psychologist I saw for therapy are at least very good at acting kind or pretending to be nice, even if they were (unbeknownst to me) mean in real life. I would not tolerate anything less. Even when I felt awful, I don't think I would have. I do not think that anybody could have helped me by being mean, so by that measure (i.e. do your patients get better?), I don't think you can be mean and be good. At the same time, just a few kind words can help a lot (i.e., "You do not deserve to feel this bad"). <BR/><BR/>I think you have to at least be able to pretend to be kind to be any sort of doc that deals with people. If you're a jerk in real life, I may not know, but if you're mean in your office, I'll find someone else.Midwife with a Knifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04309579302399381913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-79059517134074700162008-05-02T18:01:00.000-04:002008-05-02T18:01:00.000-04:00What I like about this blog is that I often learn ...What I like about this blog is that I often learn things or see things from a different perspective.<BR/><BR/>Zoe Brain said:<BR/>"They must be empathic to be effective, but not identify too closely, otherwise they will not only lose their objectivity, but can partake in the patient's illness too. They must do the emotional equivalent of donning a surgical mask, and in some cases, a full environment suit."<BR/><BR/>I had not really thought about that, but it also applies to my current teaching position in a school for emotionally disturbed high school students where it's important to understand they are angry and feel their life has no present and no future, but not get sucked into their mindset.<BR/><BR/>It makes me wonder though, how it is my psychiatrist empathizes with me to the extent that when I tell him about situations from my past, tears will come into his eyes. He is really THERE emotionally with me, not sitting back in a detached manner. I wonder how a psychiatrist manages to empathize that strongly with patients after 40 + years as a psychiatrist? Oddly, sometimes I see in HIS face what I OUGHT to be feeling surrounding a memory. I have no anger, and I always find it disconcerting (but enlightening) to see him get angry when I tell him about an incident. I value his expressivity, especially since it is something I have very little of. (I am working on - or at least keep thinking about my lack of anger/lack of expressivity but can't say I have made great strides in those 2 areas).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-402198540727323102008-05-02T17:48:00.000-04:002008-05-02T17:48:00.000-04:00Here's the real question: how do mean people get t...Here's the real question: how do mean people get to be therapists in the first place? Shouldn't they have been selected out of the training pool long ago, either by their supervisors or by their realization that they're just not interested in other people's woes?<BR/><BR/>Then again, I've had mean supervisors. Now <I>that</I> sucked.Gerbilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05908487212760713496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-35174723825128421112008-05-02T17:08:00.000-04:002008-05-02T17:08:00.000-04:00I think you have to have some sort of caring in yo...I think you have to have some sort of caring in you if you're going to be a good therapist. But I don't know where the line is. What exactly is a "mean" person. <BR/><BR/>As for weird though, it totally depends on the weird. I've had two therapists, the first was amazing,totally amazing. We also clicked really well. She was also definitely "weird". We tried some kind of weird therapy experiments, but lots of them were really cool, she was also a little strange looking in the sense that she really didn't conform to societies expectations of what a therapist should dress/do hair like (if there is such a thing). I loved her. She understood me like no other person ever has. My second therapist was totally "normal"... i couldn't stand her. <BR/><BR/>Interestingly, I never really wanted to know about my therapist's lives or who they were outside the office. I might have been concerned though if I'd discovered they had abused children or something, but I certainly never sought out information. I wasn't a person who wanted to join my therapists family or anything - we never had that kind of transferance. <BR/><BR/>In my own practice, I try and be as honest as I can about my life. Because I work with homeless people and don't do much formal counseling really at all I think in some ways I'm freer then I might be. I <3 social work. While I was in school all my clients knew that and knew about me graduating and stuff and are excited for me. I would never talk about my problems with them, but I try to be honest...<BR/><BR/>okay, now I'm just drifting off though. I hope some of that makes sense.Awake and Dreaminghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13257495492315814077noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-53642613427085888482008-05-02T15:51:00.000-04:002008-05-02T15:51:00.000-04:00Nope, I don't think so either. Nor do I think you...Nope, I don't think so either. Nor do I think you can be a mean person and a good Social worker / Mental health nurse / CMHN / psychologist. I've encountered some from these categories (not all!) and it ain't pretty and it certainly ain't healthy.<BR/>You can have problems, issues in your personal life, stresses etc. But you have to be a decent human being.Disillusionedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03250678226289036634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-90730686369331047582008-05-02T12:40:00.000-04:002008-05-02T12:40:00.000-04:00I think the dude in the picture is bearing his gen...I think the dude in the picture is bearing his genitals, although I didn't look at it closely until anon's comment.<BR/><BR/>More to say, but later. Must work.Midwife with a Knifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04309579302399381913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-73135431683576384152008-05-02T12:23:00.000-04:002008-05-02T12:23:00.000-04:00I have seen a bad shrinks and good shrinks. The b...I have seen a bad shrinks and good shrinks. The bad ones were sometimes nice, sometimes nasty, but were ineffective at their job for various reasons (often the nastiness WAS the reason, but not always). The goods ones are all nice, to different degrees. You don't have to be all smiles and puppies and flowers all the time to be a good therapist. You can have kind of a brusque personality or a terse nature but still have the ability to listen and the desire to help. That's what matters.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-75923698562610675612008-05-02T11:27:00.000-04:002008-05-02T11:27:00.000-04:00OK, I want to know why blogger stopped forwarding ...OK, I want to know why blogger stopped forwarding comments to me? The only one I got was DMM's just recently. Weird therapists? Weird Blogger.ClinkShrinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13316134491751195651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-26666124.post-84985080021291134962008-05-02T10:10:00.000-04:002008-05-02T10:10:00.000-04:00I want to sit on my psychiatrist's lap and I want ...I want to sit on my psychiatrist's lap and I want him to hold me and tell me that I'm a good girl. That's it and that's all. <BR/><BR/>I think psychiatry is hit or miss. No one really knows what they're doing. It's playing darts in the dark, hoping something will stick.<BR/><BR/>I hate the secrets. The him knowing and the me not knowing.<BR/><BR/>LilyDrivingMissMollyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11476761316928942301noreply@blogger.com